It's Me - A Slightly Different Me

Annie Goes to Ithaca has been neglected. Surprisingly enough, I've actually had so much going on in my head--besides my mother's death--that I'm not sure how to sort it all out. You've heard all of this before, but my work has been endless. You'll be happy to know that I've picked up a few new projects, and my concentration has been fantastic. In fact, I've been feeling pretty good given the circumstances. I hope it stays for a little while longer.

Let me tell you what's going on in my barely comprehensible world.

I was in NYC and WC from Sunday to Tuesday on business. (Sorry to those I did not get a chance to see.) I spent a good ole fashioned girl's night with the my best girl Stacey. It was fantastic. Y'see, it's hardest for me to communicate with those that are closest to me these days, so when I can, it really makes me feel good. We ordered a cubano, empanadas and paella from Cafe Con Leche. Whadda meal! Just fantastic. Stellar night.

The biz was all positive. Not much to reporte excep - hopefully - more lucrative work down the line. I did get to see my old family friend Gino. I was so in love with him when I was a little girl. He was just the smartest, funniest, most fascinating man to me.

Peter and I had a great talk when I was home. I'm convinced that kid has the biggest heart in the world, and I just love him incredibly. I so wish that I had more to give him. I so wish that I could be his mom and make him delicious meals, answer his homework questions, take him to the movies, make sure he brings his glasses to school, check his teeth before he goes to sleep to make sure they've been properly brushed, drop him off at his friend's house for playdates, and tuck him in at night. But I can't. I'm his big sister - forever and always - but I'll never be Mom.

I so a certified shrink today, not just a psychologist. Turns out I'm not too crazy. In fact, I'm handling things very well. Whatever that means.

I've taken up some new activities in my life. For one, I've begun walking on the weekends. I've checked out several lovely parks and waterfalls in the area including Stewart Park, Buttermilk Falls, Ithaca Falls, Cornell Plantations and Cornell Arboretum. I'll admit, I've had urges to jump into the swimming hole at the bottom of Buttermilk Falls. The cold water seems refreshing. I have this feeling it will make me feel alive again. The trails at Cornell Plantations are best when it's snowing. I can't explain the tremendous comfort I feel. It's as though my mom's arms are wrapped around me.

These walks require me to bundle up big time. Here's what I look like. I love my rosy cheeks.
Frigging pic won't post. I'll have to try it again later. Sorry

I've begun drawing. Better said, I've begun doodling. I can't draw, but let me tell you, when my Cray-Pas (z ?) hit the paper, my hand just goes. I totally zone out. I tend to incorporate song lyrics into my doodles. Got to do something with those songs that float in and out of your head all day.

I've been reading a lot, less movie watching. I've finished the Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown and Good Grief by Lolly Winston - highly recommend the latter. I've begun some redick Danielle Steele novel that I took from my mom's seemingly endless collection of books. I love to be in the world of fiction.

I bought a knitting kit, but it sucks. Couldn't even get the first loop complete. Whatever. At least I tried.

Going to run a bath. Signing off.