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In my office I have pictures hanging of the kids when they were little. They're so happy and innocent. They're taken in our Somers backyard, dining room, front lawn ... It's a time past that I can only remember when I close my eyes really hard. I'm thinking about taking them down because they confuse me. They make me forget that my mom is gone and my Dad is living in Shrub Oak with Dog Face and my brother spends most of his time in silence, locked in a room with an XBox and my sister has arms covered with thick scars and she's afraid to look people in the eyes. I will take them down this weekend and pack them with the rest of the photos of a life long gone. I couldn't love any of them better than I did.

I'm looking forward to Astoria.