This week went by quickly - too quickly, and I'm not sure what I have done. I still haven't gotten my eyebrows waxed or a pedicure. I still haven't gone to the gym. I still haven't written that press release I was supposed to write for my accountant about a month ago.
Dan and I are bored. He sleeps until noon each day and when he wakes he tries to find someone to play golf with. It's been hard for him. Our first year here, he tried to find a job and was constantly in the city, meeting with companies on campus, going to various events...When he wasn't doing all of this, he was with me - trying to comfort and console me - even though I spend much of my time in the bathtub. So we don't have many friends. And now we're both bored, but mostly lonely, and I feel badly about this, because Dan is just the type of guy that loves to love and give. I haven't had much interest in playing golf anymore, but he really wants the company, so I went and hits some balls at the range with him on Tuesday night. He likes to teach, so I listened carefully, and it was fun.
Last night after prime rib at The Antlers, I begged not to go home. It was cold and rainy, so a walk around the lake was out of the question. There isn' anything playing at the movies that we like really want to see, and last weekend we bought up TJ Maxx - even tried driving to Cortland to find another bigger, better one. We settled on bowling at the Bowl-a-drome, which was closed over the summer. While I had fun, nothing seems to be fulfilling these days. Dan and I had a long talk about this last night. Conclusions? I'm just not sure. We did discover that I'm having trouble accepting the fact that I'm supposed to have joy in my life.
Obviously, if my mother didn't kill herself and my father didn't have this mental breakdown and move in with Dog Face, and my sister...well, Amy, what to say... if none of this happened Dan and I would probably have tons of friends and tons of plans and tons of fun. Right now we're in limbo, eagerly awaiting our new lives, yet trying not to disregard the lives we have to live.
And Monday is his 30th birthday and I ordered an ice cream cake from Purity. We haven't decided on dinner yet, but perhaps lobsters. I bought him a golf bag.
Signing off.
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1 comment:
While my days at work are slow as a snail - it is suprising that it's Thursday already. I'm happy bout it though. One more day...whewh!
I keep reading over this entry, and I'm consumed with thoughts. I can't quite get them out the way I want to - but wanted to let you know that I can totally relate on certain levels.
I'd love to discuss w/ you but know you are busy.. so my conclusion?? It's a lull. They happen, they are bound too. Like the silence before a storm. You have lots going on very soon.. and things will become incredibly hectic I'm sure.
And it does sound like you are having fun here and there (golf, bowling, movies - etc) I can understand you having a hard time accepting that you are supposed to.
However, you DO have tons of friends (we just far far aways) and you will have tons of plans (soon enough!), and I'm thinkin you won't disregard the lives you have to live, in fact you will just enrich & better them.
Am I even making sense? Guess I should stop now. Love ya babes.
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