In the WSJ today
Denver Legalizes Marijuana
Encouraging cheap jokes about its "Mile High" nickname, Denver voted to legalize possession by adults of up to an ounce of marijuana. Denver police were not on the same page, saying they would simply use state possession laws to keep arresting marijuana users. Two other U.S. cities, Oakland and Seattle, have recently voted to require police to make marijuana possession their lowest law-enforcement priority.
Sounds like a good place to live. I'm excited because the OC and Reunion are returning tonight. With ER on at 10pm, looks like I'll have 3 solid hours of distraction.
My head has been cloudy today. I talk to people on the phone and I don't know what I'm saying. A client said I called him on the phone the night before and asked him to send me a photo for PR purposes. I don't remember this AT ALL.
I'm so tired and weepy. I've taken to eating chocolate and salami (not at the same time.) I suppose it's better than drinking scotch and popping valium. My sleep has been dreamless. I'm searching for signs everywhere. I keep thinking of the Friends episode when Phoebe found the cat that she believed was the reincarnation of her Mom. Please Guys, if I get there check me in to the nearest pysch unit.
I miss her so much. She's everywhere and nowhere at the same time.
I've decided to not go home this weekend. I can't handle the drive. I can't handle being in that house. I just can't deal. My Dad says it's OK--he doesn't want me to do anything I can't handle. Dan just keeps saying he wants to take care of me. I need that. I need someone to take care of me.
I'm thinking about giving the business up--taking a job at TJ Maxx or Wegmans. I'm just so afraid of fucking up. Mom would hate me for doing that, but how much strength can I have? Where in the fuck is my peace?
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2 comments:
AnnMarie;
Your mother - where she is in spirit wants you to be happy and healthy. She will come to you in things you do, things you say. You are a part of her so she has not left you she is just with you in a different way. The older you get the more you'll see her in you, your sister your brother. Maybe in how you decorate your house or how you cook a meal. Or maybe how you sing a song while doing something will remind you on how much you are like her. We are our parents good and bad.
I love you!. You are beautiful person.
Hi Annie,
I'm glad to see you're blogging again. I didn't think you'd be into it for a while. But then again, you're a natural born writer. :)
Your posts are beautiful. Sometimes we all need to take a moment to rest. Or to eat chocolate. Or salami. Or to let others take care of us. It's only natural. Take all the time you need right now. It's OK. Everyone deserves their own peace, especially someone as loving and giving as you.
xoxo,
Jill
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