Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Harpo Buys a State

Shannon is a little concerned about how much power Oprah has. Even though I like her (cause she's a black woman with all of this power), she scares me a little. I mean she directs, acts, produces movies with Halle Berry in them, hosts the most popular talk show in existence, has charitable foundations, reads all these frigging books, owns one of the most expensive houses in the world...Now we hear that The Opes is going to bring The Color Purple to Broadway. Ohhhh Lawdy. It will aptly be titled "Oprah Presents: The Color Purple. If she reprises her role as Sofia, well, we've all got to admit just how inferior we are.

So - Shannon and I have decided that Oprah will one day own her very own U.S. state. We know she's got a good portion of her bucks planted in Hawaii. We know Demi and Bruce have purchased most of Haley, Idaho. The important question to ask is: when Oprah buys her state, what will she rename it? I invite you to write in your ideas. I will determine a winner who will receive a blo-job as the prize. Sorry, if you don't have a penis, you're shit outta luck. Just kidding. No contest. No prizes. Just want you to make me laugh!

8 comments:

Annie N. said...

of course halle berry will be in it. her understudy is whoopi goldberg.

Anonymous said...

Shit, I have no idea what she'll call her state! However, I do know Jonathan Franzen will not be welcome there...

Annie N. said...

yeah right. anyone that boycotts harpo's book club...

SM said...

What does Dr. Phil think of all this, I'd like to know.
Not a state but she may be able to build on the Moon which will be called Harpoon. Why should she take a state that has been used and abused. If she gets any bad press she can just shoot the country from the moon many times. all she has to do is wait for it to come around again.
She can also get first dibs on the sunny side...

Annie N. said...

Harpoon. LOL

Anonymous said...

AZ said...

dude - harpoon. bang, bang sandra...

btw - i WISH i could figure out what my name / password was for the blog thing. does anyone know how to get it sent to me?

xx

SM said...

Thank you, thank you very much. I'll be here all week!.

You know if anyone is an artist it would be great to draw a pic of her with a bazooka (not the gum) with her hair in curlers waiting for "as the world turns".

Kimberlee A. Dworczyk said...

just got to read all that..

I'm in hysterics! great.. just great